Thursday, 10 May 2018

Through the night

It's a long night
Following an Amanda Palmer gig
I have to drive home
For hours
I should feel more alone

Graham and Kylie are charting her fame alphabetically
I need fuel
You come to mind

Amanda talked about painful things
At least the baby didn't die
And her honesty and grace
Did it shame or empower?

I lost track of my location a while back
I know the route and I guess
Since the traffic that had built up around me
has gone
and the other side is crowded
I just passed a city exit

Cats eyes draw trails into the sky
Curving into oblivion
Aside from the few distant taillights they corral
The roads are empty
Jools and Cerys are talking about jazz
You persist

It's a weird deja vu
To hear introduced
A repeat of last Sunday's Sounds
Of the Seventies
And I don't understand why
I can't stop thinking of you

She said
You felt right to me
And I get it
I do
What the hell is this?

It's safe

I want to be
Inspired
In love
Bemused
But I don't want it to hurt

Which is stupid.
So stupid.
Of course it will hurt
If it's going to give me the rush
Change my brain chemistry
Give me words
It has to hurt.

You can't hurt me
So you're taking up time and space
Comforting me
Until I'm ready for the blade
All I can hope
Is that it doesn't scar
This time

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