Thursday, 16 February 2017

Current mental state

I overcame a big barrier last night. I lay awake thinking about what's going to happen and I *knew* incontrovertibly, without ever having considered it before that the reason I'm moving, putting one foot in front of the other and keeping on keeping on, is because I don't want to acknowledge it.
I don't.
I will. Occasionally I do, as with last night, for brief periods of time. But not properly, not for long enough.

I am deep in denial and the only way out looks hella painful.


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