Thursday, 16 July 2015

Time

The clock ticks.

The passage of time has never frightened her. She doesn't feel herself growing old in the way her peers complain of. She doesn't feel her body breaking down or her mind slowing. She watches the passage of time through the same veil of abstraction as she wore during her school holidays.

Her whole life she has lived for the moment. Loved the moment. Never regretting or mourning what she leaves behind and never pressuring what is ahead with any kind of expectation.

The clock ticks.

It has always ticked. Time has always passed. She has reached the age of 38 and has lived, loved and laughed through all the minor heartbreaks that have come her way. Her career has been stressful and enormous, but she has loved it and excelled after every learning experience. She has never considered the danger of tomorrow being different.

She has never feared that she would be in a place where her own strength and abilities might not be enough. She has never wondered how she would handle life with a dependent tagging along behind her. 

The clock ticks.

He smiles at her. They have been in love now for five years. They have been together through hardship and happiness. They have been each others' strength and weakness. They are happy. They have always been so happy that he imagined she would say yes with her usual carefree abandon. 

The clock ticks.

The future looms ahead, mocking her. One day she will be old; will he be there through obligation or sincerity? One day she will be poor. Will she be able to feed him? One day she will be dependent. Who will take care of him then?

Did he even think about it?

In sickness and health. Richer or poorer. Better or worse. 

To agree is to make a promise. A commitment.

The clock ticks on.