Monday, 18 May 2015

Tiredness

At 3:00 this morning I had insomnia.

Technically speaking I had it the evening before as well but managed to trick myself into a very restless, dream-littered, brief sleep. The dreams were incredibly disturbing - so much so that I don't want to relay them here. Suffice to say it involved discovering I had spent months being an  unwitting assault victim of someone who I do not trust in reality.

Trust me, it was unpleasant.

Anyway, on the days that I give up my option of sleep I typically "imagine". I write stories in my head that I like and as often as not they blossom into posts here. Since I started exercising more intensively I haven't had much opportunity to imagine, so nothing much happens here!

Last night, or this morning,  not only was I undergoing seriously stressful thoughts about work, etc, but I was still feeling vulnerable from my dreams. I couldn't imagine. I tried and I was completely incapable of it.

So I did work. It was not good for me because it guaranteed that I wouldn't sleep, but it was good for me in that I completed required tasks and felt less stressed (albeit more tired) this morning.

Then I snoozed from 5:30 to 7:10 and felt alarmingly groggy when I got up.

I still don't have any stories within me and it makes me feel hollow.

Alicia