Monday, 10 February 2014

Budding lyricist

Last night there wasn't anything much on TV, I'd finished making my clock and my silly illustration of the Knights of the Roses and Quality Streets locked in combat in the form of their Miniature Heroes had ceased to obsess me, so I lay on the sofa and listened to Kenny Rogers.

It was part way through a song about a man who had cheated on his wife and was hoping to be taken back that I felt the urge to write something. I lay here thinking about the writer of that song and either how searingly honest and vulnerable it was, or how cleverly recreated the emotion is.

I wondered if I could do that. I wasn't sure; I'm sill not; if the challenge was for honesty or falsified emotion.

I'm also not sure which (if either) of these I've produced. Given the depth of my resistance to the idea, I suspect there is a startling amount of honesty here.

It's the fear that takes hold of you
In the time before you fall
All those moments you could be misunderstanding
That make it so hard
Because you want it so badly
You want it to be real
Admit it
If you weren't longing for it each moment
You wouldn't care if this was an empty promise

But there you are
And there it lies
Wrapped before you
Hidden from your eyes
The only way to see inside
Is to break through that surface

And you have no way of knowing
If this gift is meant for you to keep
Or if it is on loan
Perhaps it already belongs to someone else
Who cannot give it back
Reach out
At least acknowledge it has been given
Even as you wonder if it has any worth

Now there you are
And there it lies
Wrapped before you
Hidden from your eyes
The only way to see inside
Is to trust that it is given in good faith

I've never been here before
Staring at what you offer me
Wondering if I dare see what it truly is
Or accept the superficial and never ask for more
Do you know what I want from this?
Is this a gift or your best offer?

And here I am
There is lies
Wrapped before me
Safe from my eyes
The only way to see inside
Is to risk it
To admit it
I want it to be all of you