Friday, 26 July 2013

Is Josh Groban made of bacon?

The awesomeness of bacon is beyond dispute.

It has a TVTropes page in honor of its sheer perfection, it has become master of many food stuffs including (but not limited to) ice cream, salt, jam and the all time British favourite (the perfect cure-all when combined with a cup of tea) the bacon butty.

No, wait. That didn't imbue the moment with suitable gravitas....

The Bacon Butty!

I digress. And I also make myself slightly hungry. However, to return to the subject in hand...

The awesomeness of Bacon [we kneel before thee] is beyond dispute. I put it to you similarly that the awesomeness of Josh Groban is beyond dispute.

If we therefore consider the well-known truth of life, the answer to the greatest question, the source of all mankind's happiness: specifically that
"everything is better with bacon" 
we are immediately forced to question:

Would Josh Groban be *more awesome* if he was made out of bacon?

Or is he simply so awesome that he is clearly *already* bacon?

Is this the reason he refuses to appear topless in public? Is it possible that when his shirt is removed the mere sight will make us crack out the L and T?

I am not saying he is or isn't; I'm just throwing the idea out there for you to discuss amongst yourselves.

If it is true (and I think you can infer from context that I accept this is a very real possibility) I think it is in our best interests that Josh either stays single, or only dates vegetarians. Otherwise we face a world where his girlfriend got a bit peckish in the night and nibbled his ear lobe a little too vigorously.


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