Monday, 10 June 2013

When I was a kid

When I was a kid all of my biggest heroes were - purely by coincidence - called James. Kirk, Bond and Herriot were the big three. I wanted to be as brave and adventurous as Kirk, have all the gadgets and wit of Bond (Roger Moore was always my favourite) and be a vet like Herriot.

I thought Bond was so cool I actually sat for hours practicing raising my eyebrows. Now they dance by themselves and I cannot, absolutely cannot, prevent the left one doing a double flick when I find something especially attractive. This is slightly weird because I never practiced a double flick and I never assigned a particular emotion to any of my supercilliary1 antics.

When I wasn't working my eyebrows with a pencil and a piece of string, I was often walking to and from the local library. My whole family read a lot, but for some reason I mostly remember walking there alone. Possibly because when I was alone I didn't have to be sociable and I had far more fun.

I had a few games I would play. The one that inspired me to write this was one I played for one summer holiday. This is the first time I've ever tried to explain it, so I'm not sure where to begin.


Nobody knew, I certainly wasn't supposed to know, but I was an experiment. I had been designed and grown to look exactly like the woman they called my mother, so no-one would be suspicious as I grew up. As I became adult I was supposed to unlock my abilities, but something had gone wrong.

I'd noticed that I was always being treated differently. My teachers set me extra work, additional tests that no-one else had to do. My parents wouldn't let me play out after dinner like the other kids did. I was never, ever sick. Once I started wondering about how else I was different, I noticed the watchers.

No matter where I went there was always someone there. Peeking out of a house window, following me down the street, or into shops or other buildings. It's a massive rota of people, endlessly cycling. Sometimes the same person sits in the same place, covering that portion of the town, sometimes three or four people follow me around and into the different shops.

The knowledge that I was under surveillance broke some of the locks on my programming. I suspect it was an emergency measure, so if I was discovered I would be able to protect myself.

I don't know what they have planned for me, but I am clearly important. I don't want them to know I have discovered them until I know their plans. For now, my task is to see if I can evade them and find out what my abilities entail.


Sadly, having grown up, I can confirm this was just a fantasy. No special abilities were forthcoming and, although over time I developed a complex backstory, codename and set of triggers, I was never called upon to live my life as a super secret space spy adventurer.

Let's believe in reincarnation for long enough to say: maybe next time :)


1 I literally just discovered supercilliary means "of or pertaining to the eyebrow". Isn't it a fantastic word?

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