Wednesday, 17 April 2013

We aren't suited


You know when you're looking at something and you get a sensation of being punched in the gut while your brain screams "THIS! This is what you are looking for in your mate!"? I has that. More disturbingly, I had that when I saw a picture of a stuffed koala holding a piece of dried mango.

Yeah, I know.

However, and I can't believe I'm using my crush as an excuse (how did I get here?), I'd like to say that the context in this situation makes all the difference.


But this brings us to a deeper question. Is my brain right? Was that gut punch justified? Is Josh Groban what I am looking for in a mate? These questions and many more will be answered after this message from our sponsors1:


Everybody ought to know what they want. Here's what I want from my future partner2:

I must be interested in him
He must be 
  • interested in me
  • affectionate
  • caring
  • considerate
  • passionate
  • willing and able to compromise
  • doesn't put me down for enjoying stuff he doesn't like 
  • responsible
  • values family
  • understands when I need silence and company
  • committed to work
  • loyal
  • willing to communicate
  • someone with a sense of humour
  • at least as smart as I am
  • able to stand up to my parents
  • someone who values dates/ couple time and group events equally
Now, I'm not in a position to find out if Josh actually meets the requirements on my list but as the avowed and overarching goal of this blog is to find a flaw in the man that I can use to crush my crush, I'm going to be as negative as possible.

Josh is not interested in me. I can see straight away that we have no future together.

He does not understand anything about me! He has never even tried to. It would cause serious problems if we met and this state of affairs were to continue.

...

Sadly, every other point on that list, I either cannot prove against him or have evidence to support that he meets it.

The two points he fails on are entirely the result of never having met me. I concede that, had he met me, he could still fail but I am cursed with a need to be reasonable and darn it! I can't blame him for the fact that we have never met.

This was an exercise in futility. I'll revert to begging him to be a horrible human being.

Alicia

1 DISCLAIMER: I don't have a sponsor.
2 Not necessarily Josh. I'm not *that* crazy.